I had never imagined myself so close to Katrina Kaif. She was holding my hands in hers…wow! Slowly she brought her face close to mine. Though I could feel her warm breath, I was unable to breathe myself... When all my excitement was almost reaching its peak she brought her lips close to my right ear and said in a very ‘Manly’ voice- “What’s in lunch?”
I looked back at her and to my dismay she was no longer that beautiful… Her hands were puffy, her face was shaven and she had suddenly become the fattest man I have ever seen. Oh god! It’s not Katrina any longer but, my best friend sitting beside me and looking at his huge stomach- must be hungry. I realized that my dream was put to an end and the nightmare has just begun-college lectures; I chose not to answer him and instead looked over the crowded chaotic classroom. A professor, in his late twenties, was standing on an elevated platform in front of the blackboard and was talking animatedly to the students. It’s tough for me to explain the persona of this lecturer-He was short and was whitish in complexion; long curly hair with a ponytail hanging at his back; loves to wear pink and has a very unique way of speaking -imagine Karan Johar………
His voice was so low that barely the first three benches could possibly listen to him, whereas at the last benches students were busy with something or the other (I always prefer to be a back-bencher :-) ). So instead of wasting my time in trying to listen to the professor, I started looking at my pals who are generally quite funny in such lectures. A friend of mine, who was seated on the 5th bench of my side row, was looking at his newly gifted golden watch-counting the number of minutes he had more to spend in tolerating the lecture…
Another guy, seated in front of me, was looking at the fairest girl of the class, who was in the 3rd row, from ours; at that moment I saw him murmuring to himself, “23”. Out of the curiosity I asked him, “what’s 23?”
He answered with a mischievous smile, “She yawned for the 23rd time!!!”
Before I could react to his answer, the mood of the classroom changed suddenly…
The professor was shouting at a dark guy, who was seated about 4 benches ahead of me. He came near to his prey so that at least he could hear him.
“1st time it was OK. 2nd time too, I left you. But this is the third time I am catching you sleeping during my lecture!”
Poor chap always gets spotted.
The way our professor was shouting at him, I was forced to remember my neighbourhood Aunty who loves to shout on small kids who mischievously press her door bell and run away. I could imagine her at the front in the classroom, beating her forehead again and again with her hands.
“He is a bit different, isn’t he?” whispered my fatty friend to me.
I knew what he was saying because I have already imagined Karan Johar and my neighbour Aunty in him.
After a few minutes of drama, the class got silent again. And to my surprise there was sudden improvement in his teaching- may be he was quite impressed by his own shouting capabilities.
But I am what I am. It was impossible for me to listen to a poor speaker.
And again She was near to me, smiling and touching my lips with her soft hands. I knew my life was going to change after this day… I slowly moved my lips towards her when……… she moved her lips away and whispered in a ‘Manly’ voice, “You are the next Bakra. Be alert”.
Before I could remove the soft hands of Katrina from my mind, a piece of chalk crashed on my forehead. Soon I became aware of the source of the flying chalk.
I stood up and apologized for my behaviour.
But the professor was in the mood for insulting me. He gave a long speech on maintaining discipline- I could say that he was enjoying the attention he was getting from the students for the first time…
So he kept me standing and continued with his lecture (Fortunately the voice was still not audible to :-) ). Someone from the back benches of last row murmured, “Sachin scored the highest Test runs!”
Oh! It was the India-Australia test series. People can even sacrifice their meals for cricket!
On looking who it was, I was shocked to see our class topper with his ears plugged to earphones- Generally he completes his assignments during such lectures, but this was going too far!!! I mean cricket during a lecture??!!
But nobody could be blamed for this situation, not even the professors. Most of the back benchers, though they prefer to maintain a low profile, are multi-talented. And most of us have no KT background or have at least an average of 60%. For example, the boy next to my ranker friend has a good hand in painting- his book is filled with fantastic portraits of our dear professors. And another friend of mine who has the most untidy bushy beard out of his chin- says ‘it’s unique’- is an amazing singer. A few of my female friends can play X and O’s, BOLLYWOOD and gossip around the whole row during all the lectures and still they are never caught- TALENT!!
I would have loved to write an essay on HIDDEN TALENTS OF THE BACK BENCHERS, but that wasn’t the appropriate time; the professor, who was now tired of his own lecture, asked me something. For the last time again, I couldn’t hear him and listening to him made me feel like a deaf person.
But I had to say something- standing alone like a fool with a fool in front asking questions, was proving to be very tough for me…
I said, “I don’t know SIR”.
And the students, sitting in front, the only people in class who could hear him started a riot of laughter- this was too much of an insult.
I softly asked my fatty friend, “Why are they laughing?”
He replied with a stupid smile displaying all his teeth, “As far as I could hear him, I think he asked you your name and you just said you don’t know”.
Realizing my mistake I answered correctly this time. The professor must have understood that I failed to hear him, so he came near to me and asked, “There is an error in the 3rd bit of that bit sequence on the board. Can you tell me what the correct answer is?”
Though I could see the blackboard where the bit sequence was written I couldn’t make out the exact numbers. Within a moment I realized that I was not wearing my specs- I don’t wear my specs when I am asleep.
By now the professor had already formed a fair idea about my attention to his lecture.
After wearing my specs, I read the number -11000110 from the board and answered with confidence, “1”.
He nodded and my eyes trailed him walking back to the board. At this point of time, I caught the eyes of a cute girl, seated on the starting benches, smiling back at me...
Nah! She is not impressed. I mean nobody would be.
The reason being that, our whole world (world of IT engineers) revolves around 1’s and 0’s. If the answer is not one, it has to be zero and vice versa.
After I was asked to sit the bell rang and I heaved a sigh of relief. At last the torture was over, another lecturer would come now and put us to sleep, when I could again meet my Katrina…
“For the last time I am asking you what’s in for lunch?” asked my hungry-angry friend again.
Before I could answer him someone shouted “ATTENDANCE???”
But the professor had left. Our patience was tested and wasted. And I was seething with anger; it was reaching almost at its boiling point- he insulted me over 15 minutes and now… I don’t even deserve attendance!!!
That’s how life is supposed to be. No matter where we are seated, only our perspective towards life changes. So enjoy the lectures; pay attention to them (only if you can otherwise don’t force yourselves) and ask for your attendance when you deserve it.
-ARITRA SEN
I looked back at her and to my dismay she was no longer that beautiful… Her hands were puffy, her face was shaven and she had suddenly become the fattest man I have ever seen. Oh god! It’s not Katrina any longer but, my best friend sitting beside me and looking at his huge stomach- must be hungry. I realized that my dream was put to an end and the nightmare has just begun-college lectures; I chose not to answer him and instead looked over the crowded chaotic classroom. A professor, in his late twenties, was standing on an elevated platform in front of the blackboard and was talking animatedly to the students. It’s tough for me to explain the persona of this lecturer-He was short and was whitish in complexion; long curly hair with a ponytail hanging at his back; loves to wear pink and has a very unique way of speaking -imagine Karan Johar………
His voice was so low that barely the first three benches could possibly listen to him, whereas at the last benches students were busy with something or the other (I always prefer to be a back-bencher :-) ). So instead of wasting my time in trying to listen to the professor, I started looking at my pals who are generally quite funny in such lectures. A friend of mine, who was seated on the 5th bench of my side row, was looking at his newly gifted golden watch-counting the number of minutes he had more to spend in tolerating the lecture…
Another guy, seated in front of me, was looking at the fairest girl of the class, who was in the 3rd row, from ours; at that moment I saw him murmuring to himself, “23”. Out of the curiosity I asked him, “what’s 23?”
He answered with a mischievous smile, “She yawned for the 23rd time!!!”
Before I could react to his answer, the mood of the classroom changed suddenly…
The professor was shouting at a dark guy, who was seated about 4 benches ahead of me. He came near to his prey so that at least he could hear him.
“1st time it was OK. 2nd time too, I left you. But this is the third time I am catching you sleeping during my lecture!”
Poor chap always gets spotted.
The way our professor was shouting at him, I was forced to remember my neighbourhood Aunty who loves to shout on small kids who mischievously press her door bell and run away. I could imagine her at the front in the classroom, beating her forehead again and again with her hands.
“He is a bit different, isn’t he?” whispered my fatty friend to me.
I knew what he was saying because I have already imagined Karan Johar and my neighbour Aunty in him.
After a few minutes of drama, the class got silent again. And to my surprise there was sudden improvement in his teaching- may be he was quite impressed by his own shouting capabilities.
But I am what I am. It was impossible for me to listen to a poor speaker.
And again She was near to me, smiling and touching my lips with her soft hands. I knew my life was going to change after this day… I slowly moved my lips towards her when……… she moved her lips away and whispered in a ‘Manly’ voice, “You are the next Bakra. Be alert”.
Before I could remove the soft hands of Katrina from my mind, a piece of chalk crashed on my forehead. Soon I became aware of the source of the flying chalk.
I stood up and apologized for my behaviour.
But the professor was in the mood for insulting me. He gave a long speech on maintaining discipline- I could say that he was enjoying the attention he was getting from the students for the first time…
So he kept me standing and continued with his lecture (Fortunately the voice was still not audible to :-) ). Someone from the back benches of last row murmured, “Sachin scored the highest Test runs!”
Oh! It was the India-Australia test series. People can even sacrifice their meals for cricket!
On looking who it was, I was shocked to see our class topper with his ears plugged to earphones- Generally he completes his assignments during such lectures, but this was going too far!!! I mean cricket during a lecture??!!
But nobody could be blamed for this situation, not even the professors. Most of the back benchers, though they prefer to maintain a low profile, are multi-talented. And most of us have no KT background or have at least an average of 60%. For example, the boy next to my ranker friend has a good hand in painting- his book is filled with fantastic portraits of our dear professors. And another friend of mine who has the most untidy bushy beard out of his chin- says ‘it’s unique’- is an amazing singer. A few of my female friends can play X and O’s, BOLLYWOOD and gossip around the whole row during all the lectures and still they are never caught- TALENT!!
I would have loved to write an essay on HIDDEN TALENTS OF THE BACK BENCHERS, but that wasn’t the appropriate time; the professor, who was now tired of his own lecture, asked me something. For the last time again, I couldn’t hear him and listening to him made me feel like a deaf person.
But I had to say something- standing alone like a fool with a fool in front asking questions, was proving to be very tough for me…
I said, “I don’t know SIR”.
And the students, sitting in front, the only people in class who could hear him started a riot of laughter- this was too much of an insult.
I softly asked my fatty friend, “Why are they laughing?”
He replied with a stupid smile displaying all his teeth, “As far as I could hear him, I think he asked you your name and you just said you don’t know”.
Realizing my mistake I answered correctly this time. The professor must have understood that I failed to hear him, so he came near to me and asked, “There is an error in the 3rd bit of that bit sequence on the board. Can you tell me what the correct answer is?”
Though I could see the blackboard where the bit sequence was written I couldn’t make out the exact numbers. Within a moment I realized that I was not wearing my specs- I don’t wear my specs when I am asleep.
By now the professor had already formed a fair idea about my attention to his lecture.
After wearing my specs, I read the number -11000110 from the board and answered with confidence, “1”.
He nodded and my eyes trailed him walking back to the board. At this point of time, I caught the eyes of a cute girl, seated on the starting benches, smiling back at me...
Nah! She is not impressed. I mean nobody would be.
The reason being that, our whole world (world of IT engineers) revolves around 1’s and 0’s. If the answer is not one, it has to be zero and vice versa.
After I was asked to sit the bell rang and I heaved a sigh of relief. At last the torture was over, another lecturer would come now and put us to sleep, when I could again meet my Katrina…
“For the last time I am asking you what’s in for lunch?” asked my hungry-angry friend again.
Before I could answer him someone shouted “ATTENDANCE???”
But the professor had left. Our patience was tested and wasted. And I was seething with anger; it was reaching almost at its boiling point- he insulted me over 15 minutes and now… I don’t even deserve attendance!!!
That’s how life is supposed to be. No matter where we are seated, only our perspective towards life changes. So enjoy the lectures; pay attention to them (only if you can otherwise don’t force yourselves) and ask for your attendance when you deserve it.
-ARITRA SEN
