lest we forget!

the wedding bells

this story is about my cousin's marriage....hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed his marriage.

Chapter 1- the imperfect groom

It was just 5.31 pm in Kolkata and street lamps were already lit up.

I was resting on an untidy bed piled with clothes, utensils, and plastics, etc.

“Where’s your brother?” asked a familiar female voice.

I looked up to see my cousin sister Tia, who was dressed in a beautiful saree.

“Practising for the next season of Indian Idol”, I said pointing towards closed door of the bathroom where the sound of water falling on the floor was dwarfed by my cousin’s singing- “Ami je tomar…sudhu je tomar” (I am yours… only yours)

My sister ran across the room and knocked on the bathroom door, “DADA!!! DERI HOCHCHE! MAA CHITKAR KORCHE!” (BROTHER!!! IT’S GETTING LATE! MOM IS SHOUTING!)

The singing stopped.

The bathroom door opened. A skinny, tall and dark man came out completely wet with a towel around his waist. His name was Dibakar Ghosh, my mama’s elder son, who was getting married today.

“Where’s mom? Please call her”, he ordered her.

After sometime, a middle-aged woman entered the room and started shouting at him as soon as she rested her eyes upon him.

“YOU ARE STILL NOT READY? Look at me! I am a woman and I am completely dressed, with the lipstick on my lips. And you are still wearing that 10 year old torn towel around your size zero!”

She looked like a dominant Saas from the soap operas in the TV.

He looked at me and then whispered something to his mother.

Though I thought that he must have said something to calm her temper but his mother looked angrier and slapped him on his shoulder.

“You don’t know where I keep your under wears! How will your wife tolerate you? You still behave like a toddler!”

My brother looked more embarrassed while I hid my face behind the cell phone to hide my laughter.

She went to the shelf and brought him some garments. Then she looked at him and frowned again. This time she brought another towel to dry his hair.

Once his mother was gone, he started dressing at my back while I played games on his phone.

“Help me!” he said after a few minutes.

I turned around and found my brother wearing a golden colored Kurta made of Tassar silk. He was also holding a 2 meter long white cloth in his hands.

“Are you thinking of wearing that saree?” I asked confusedly.

“Idiot! It is dhoti.”

It was then that I noticed his bare legs which were half covered by his kurta.

“MAA!” he shouted again.

I smiled while his mother helped him with the dhoti.

After she was gone, he looked at me and said, “How do I piss now?”

I thought of my pyjama which was held up by a simple Naada and couldn’t stop smiling at my brother’s helplessness.

Chapter 2- Punjab da Puttar

All of us, 14 adults and 5 children, gathered near the ambassador car which was decorated with red roses. On the other side was a group of people wearing red jackets and white trousers, carrying various musical instruments.

“Bakra ready ho gaya kya?” said a man aloud. The man was sporting a blue jeans, white T-shirt which read-“FBI: FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR” and a red turban. He was my brother’s best friend-Manpreet Singh and had come from Delhi.

My brother replied instantly, “Paaji main khud kushi ke liye ready hu!”

“Arre tune world cup ulta kyu pehna hai?”

My brother laughed heartily.

Actually it was a conical embroidered white cap called as TOPOR, made of a material called sola, weared by every Bengali groom.

“Jhontu! Sit in the car!” the groom’s mother shouted to her son.

“Maa! Please don’t call me by that name in front of so many people”, he replied angrily and sat inside.

Mama sat beside the driver while his daughter and wife sat on either side of the groom.

“C’mon children we will walk. It’s just half a kilometer”, announced my masi to all of us, “Arre Bhai Gaan Bajana suru koro!” And the Emotional Attyachaar tone roared in the neighbourhood.

*

Sardarji was resisting his legs from the moment the songs started.

After all he is a Punjabi!

As he was too embarrassed to be the only adult to dance in the procession, he asked all the elders separately to join him. But he was disappointed by -“Arre bhai, Paaye baitha!” (oh dear, I have pain in my legs!); “Dhoti khule jabe!” (Dhoti will come out!), etc.

But they clapped to the beats of the song to encourage their children who were dancing enthusiastically.

Sardarji poked me once and asked, “Common! Let’s shake a leg!”

If only he would have been a girl, then I would have said, “Let’s do it baby!” and would have bluffed about me giving a crash course to Hrithik Roshan on HOW TO DANCE!

“They could have arranged a horse. An ambassador car is too old fashioned, isn’t it?” I said to change the topic.

“Gadha ghode pe kaise baithega!” he said coolly.

At the same instant my brother summoned me from behind. I was too relieved to leave Sardarji and his dance topic alone in the crowd.

“Yes?”, I inquired.

Squeezed between two large but gorgeous women, my brother asked for an unusual request. I ran to the other end where the band walas were playing there instruments. I met the leader and instructed him to play TWIST-the hit number from the movie LOVE AAJ KAL.

No sooner did the song begin, than all the kids stopped dancing. Men and women on the streets gathered around us. From that distance I couldn’t see what was happening, but soon became aware of the reason for my brother’s special song request.

SARDARJI WAS DOING THE NAGIN DANCE!!!

It was a treat to all the eyes in the public to see a Sardarji joining his two hands to imitate a snake and then belly dancing.

After all… how many of us have ever seen a Sardar perform a NAGIN dance! I wish Shakira was here!

Chapter 3- Beauty and the Feast

The procession stopped in front of the guest house which was the venue for the wedding. The gates were decorated with colorful flowers. ‘Dibakar weds Anjana’ was written on a side. Small girls, who were supposed to gift red roses to each of the groom’s family members, stood near the gates.

All of us gathered near the car while Sardarji ran towards the Band party to pay them.

I stood near two teenagers from the bride’s family, who were waiting for the car’s doors to open. I overheard their mother instructing them, “If he is fat, no need to pick him up. Just hold his hands and take him inside.”

As soon as my brother stepped from the car these two teenagers picked him and made him sit on their shoulders.

“I hope his dhoti remains intact”, Tia commented while we followed them inside the house. They took the groom inside one of the rooms which was crowded with bride’s family. All the elderly people from girl’s family were blessing the groom. Similarly our family went to bless the bride.

As soon as the ceremony ended, I and Sardarji went inside and sat beside my brother who looked nervous.

“Are you OK?” asked Sardarji.

“I lost my shoes”, he said innocently, “I think they fell when those two goondas picked me up. They were Nagras brought from Rajasthan.”

“Don’t worry Jiju! They are as safe as your future wife”, said one of the pretty girls who were standing near the door, “Just pay us about Rs. 1000/- and get them back”

“These activities of yours make you worth being called as SAALIS!” taunted my brother while they giggled on his comment.

“What are you girls doing here? Don’t irritate the groom and his friends. Go away!” shouted an elderly lady. She turned to us, “Shub Mahurat is in 10 mins. Let’s go to the mandap!”

*

We left the groom at the mandap with bride’s father and an old pandit who was reading some Sanskrit shloks from a book to perform some rituals.

I and Sardarji grabbed the seats and started with the delicious feast.

“Are you from Bombay?” asked a pretty girl accompanied by another whom I assumed to be the saalis. Both of them pulled two chairs and sat near us.

I nodded not knowing what was about to come.

“Have you seen Sachin Tendulkar?” one of them asked.

People outside Mumbai think of it as a small city where everyone including the stars and cricketers stays in the same society.

“Sachin and I don’t talk anymore”, I said coolly. The girl was disappointed and asked me the reason. Sardarji was busy laughing while I answered her, “His son broke my window panes thrice in the same week while playing cricket. I know he is son of the Master Blaster but that doesn’t mean that he will blast my house!”

Before they could react, the girl who was teasing my brother with his shoes arrived at the spot. “What are you girls doing here? Masi is searching you both.”

She watched the girls till they went inside and then turned to us, “I hope the food is alright?”

“It’s delicious” said Sardarji while I said, “It’s okay.”

The girl looked embarassed at my reaction.

“Why? What’s the problem?”

“All the beauties are busy with the marriage. If someone as beautiful as you accompanies us then…”

“Really? I can solve that problem within a second”, and she went inside.

“Oh god! Her hair is silky! Her skin is Milky! She is just like a vanilla ice cream!” exclaimed Sardarji.

“Main line marr raha hu naa!” I said.

“Hello uncle!” said a small cute looking girl who was accompanied by the same girl.

“Isn’t she beautiful? Sona, why don’t you recite the new poem you learned yesterday?”

The small girl looked excited and started with BABA BLACK SHEEP.

She smiled at me and said, “Enjoy!”

I smiled back and found myself developing a crush on her. I looked at the kid who was eating a Vanilla ice cream and poked Sardarji, “Your Vanilla Ice cream!”

Chapter 4- the perfect bride

Ullullullu…this sound echoed in the hallway while all the people stood to get a glimpse of the bride who was carried on a wooden plank, lifted by her brothers while the women were making that funny sound.

The bride was covering her face with two betel leafs (paan). She was wearing the usual red bridal saree and a small crown on her head made up of sola.

“She is heavy!” I said to sardarji, “but I think she is beautiful.”

“Yes, Juliet marrying an Idiot!”

The groom stood at the center while the men carried the bride on the plank and revolved around him seven times. Then the bride was told to uncover her face and my brother blushed as soon as he saw her.

They exchanged flowers and sat down. All of us gathered to see the remaining ceremony where pandit was reading the shloks.

*

“Basor? What about the suhaag raat? And what’s Basor?” asked Sardarji.

“Well, we won’t allow them to have suhaag raat tonight. We will keep them awake” I said jokingly.

Basor meant all kinds of fun-music, drama, caricatures, etc. to keep the night alive.

The saalis and saalas entertained us all through the night. I and Sardarji were the only one who was representing the groom’s family while the others left.

“How did you propose?” asked one of the saalis to my brother curiously.

As the couple was too shy to recite their story, Aparna, the girl I had crush on, stood up and asked me to act with her.

“I will play the role of Jiju and you will be my sister.” I agreed.

All the eyes were fixed upon us. She bent down on her knees and took my left hand in her own and said, “I feel wonderful because I’ve seen the love light in your eyes; and wonder of it all is that you just don’t realize how much I love you”, she paused briefly and said, “Please marry me.”

I couldn’t stop myself from blushing.

I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GIRL PROPOSING?

I replied instantly. “Yes. When are we getting married?” And everyone laughed at my reply.

*

Around 3 am in the morning when all of us were tired and felt sleepy, Aparna played the song KAWA KAWA on her cell phone and asked the couple to dance.

It was fun to watch the newly wedded couple to rock n roll on those tunes.

My brother no longer cared for his dhoti!

“Aparna! Play that song” requested the bride. All of us stepped aside while the woman took her husband’s hand in her own and looked straight into his eyes. The dance floor melted into a romantic night when the recorded voice sang- TUJH MEIN RAB DIKHTA HAI…

*

It’s been a week since my brother has moved into his new house with his wife and I have returned to beautiful, bawdy Mumbai. But still the memories of that night- the new couple, Sardarji, Aparna and the song- Tujh mein rab dikhta hai… is fresh in my mind.

--ARITRA SEN